"I've got a lot of problems with you people..."

“I’ve got a lot of problems with you people. Now, you’re going to hear about it.”   This line from the Festivus Seinfeld episode may be my favorite of all time.  I am not sure what this says about me, but I admit, my internal dialogue can sometimes be very unholy and unsanctified.  What I really want to do is join Frank with the “airing of grievances.” 

I am currently mulling over something said by someone close to me that sits with me in such a wrong way.  This overheard conversation wasn’t even directed at me but came from a follower of Jesus that I disagree with on political issues.  Their rejoicing in the current administration’s immediate cuts of funding affecting some of the poorest and most vulnerable in the world seems cruel.   I am having a hard time letting it go.  Can’t I just be Frank? 

Here is the thing: We both share a passion for the church’s role and response to global issues of poverty.  We both encourage the church to give, to act, to pray, and to partner with organizations serving throughout the world.  What we differ over is the government’s role.  I am having such a hard time grappling with this difference with those I love. Maybe you are as well.  I don’t have all the answers, but I do know this: The airing of grievances won’t help me right now.  Crafting the perfect response to this individual and making this person feel little will not help me one bit. 

Proverbs 17:27-28 states, “The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered.  Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues.” 

I will continue to speak up for things I feel passionate about, but I don’t need to be “Frank” (frank) with everyone.  I can look for the things I have in common with those I disagree with.  I can choose kindness.  I can advocate for the organizations I believe in.  I can serve and love with my entire body, soul, mind, and strength. And, at times, when I want to lash out (which is a lot lately), I must frequently pray, “Holy Spirit, please help me know when to speak and when to hold my tongue.” 

Yes, “I’ve got a lot of problems with you people,” but singling out those who differ won’t heal my heart or fix the many problems in this world. Coming up with the best quip doesn’t make me a good leader.  Leading people well requires restraint of the tongue at times, knowing when to speak up and when to say silent, and practicing an intentional pause before lashing out.  When I point the finger at “you people,” I miss my own issues.  I don’t have all the answers.  I am not perfect, but today, my inner “Frank” response was quieted, which is a Holy Spirit Festivus miracle.  Maybe if others also practiced the pause too, we would have a Festivus for the rest of us. 

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.